The marriage was never good. That is to say, we had nice moments. But if, at any given time during the marriage, you had asked me if I was happily married, I don't think I'd have given a solid yes as an answer.
I'd say I spent about two decades in denial, and over a decade getting out of denial and getting up the guts to leave.
I once read that on the average, it takes 7 tries for an abused spouse to leave.
Rabbi Jekyll claimed that I was emotionally abusing him during the last decade by repeatedly threatening to leave. I actually left and came back once after he wooed me back. He left me and came back once after begged him to return.
Crazy, no? But it's part of the dynamics of that kind of relationship.
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